Chapter 15
Three months later, Ethan needed new shoes.
That reminded me of nothing dramatic.
Which was good.
Claire invited me shopping.
Not because I was needed.
Because Ethan asked.
He tried on four pairs.
Rejected two because they were “too fast.”
Nobody understood what that meant.
We accepted it.
At lunch afterward, Claire told me she had started seeing someone.
I almost reacted too quickly.
She saw it.
Raised one eyebrow.
I stopped.
Good.
“What’s his name?”
“Daniel.”
“What does he do?”
She smiled.
“There you are.”
I leaned back.
“Too much?”
“Yes.”
Fair.
I tried again.
“Do you like him?”
“Yes.”
“That matters.”
She looked surprised.
Maybe I was improving.
Slowly.
Ethan dipped a fry in ketchup and announced Daniel had a dog.
Apparently that was the important qualification.
I realized then how much of my life had been organized around control.
Robert exploited it.
Vivian performed around it.
Claire feared it.
Ethan ignored it.
Children often reveal the uselessness of adult obsession simply by caring about dogs instead.
I looked at my daughter.
“I want you safe.”
“I know.”
“But?”
She waited.
“I don’t get to define safe for you without listening.”
Her eyes softened.
That was closer.
May you like
Not perfect.
Closer.
